Julia Barretto has had her fair share of ups and downs, especially when it comes to her personal relationships. The actress, who is the eldest daughter of actor Dennis Padilla with Marjorie Barretto, unpacked her rollercoaster bond with her estranged father in an interview with Karen Davila.

When asked about their current set-up after the recent fallout surrounding Dennis and her younger brother Leon, Julia candidly replied, “I’ll be very honest. We have not spoken and it’s because there’s just so much fear inside me now if I’m being open. I’m just really scared.”

She said her decision not to talk to her dad is not only because of their recent rift but because of a years-old cycle of push and pull. “Because over the years, it’s a cycle of making up and getting hurt. I want to huminga muna from that cycle. I don’t know. Maybe in God’s time may ways mag-meet kami in the middle without getting hurt again.”

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She explains that it’s not an issue of forgiveness. “I think it’s not difficult for us to forgive. It’s also just, there’s a lot of fear because I don’t know what’s gonna happen. But forgiveness, of course, that’s for my own peace of mind but I’m just not that ready. There’s just so much pain since I was young.”

“Sa commandments, no matter what happens, they’re your parents so I always ask God, ‘You know a parent is a parent and I’m only just a child but at the same time san yung boundary na a child is also allowed to get hurt?’”

Speaking from the heart, she continued, “I just need more love. More protection. I just feel like he has to be my number one protector and that’s not what I’m getting. It hurt. It’s sad.”

When asked about how she stays strong despite the difficulties, Julia says the pain made her headstrong. “The pain doesn’t really last. I really don’t worry. I have a strong support system.”

“I’m just really not ready. I don’t wanna force myself also,” she said when asked if she’s likely to ~reconciliate~ with her dad soon.