Kathryn Bernardo gives her raw and unfiltered take on forgiving, quashing perceptions, and taking control of her life

This is an excerpt from MEGA April 2024 Cover story.

It’s high time everyone shatters assumptions about Kathryn Bernardo.

She isn’t faultless, and she would explain why with utter insouciance, coupled with her million-dollar smile. She is one of the most hard-working actresses of her generation—and probably the most successful in terms of box-office hits—but she can sleep in until noon if her schedule permits. She has a nightlife. She isn’t naive or prude. She goes out with friends whenever she can, because, well, who doesn’t at her age and insane work schedule? She drinks, yes. She attends parties. She loves food. And she has worked long enough to define herself outside her life of fame.

“You know, the notifications of my social media accounts are completely restricted to the people I follow, and I don’t see anything wrong with that,” Bernardo tells MEGA, sharing with us the few wily ways she has learned to navigate her intricate work environment. “It’s my way of protecting my peace, my page, my social media account. There are still days that I get affected by some comments, but now I know the people who really matter. So, I just choose peace.”

The art of healing

In recent memory, if there’s one character to whom she felt the strongest attachment, it was Philo, whose life she had lived for months. In fact, her co-star de Leon, whom she calls Ms. D, and her acting coach had to teach Bernardo how to say goodbye to something she had with her for a long time.

“There is a way to go back to your old self kapag nag-cut na,” she says. “It’s healthier. Siyempre, you’re going to keep a part of that character forever in your heart. They call it pagpag, kasi kung hindi, baka mabaliw ako.” 

Letting go is an art that has been harrowingly familiar to Bernardo in the past year, especially within the closed doors of her private life.

“Chapter closed.” Anyone who is even vaguely familiar with Philippine showbiz-sphere knows that on November 30, 2023, fans of KathNiel shed collective tears when Bernardo posted these words on her Instagram account, confirming rumors that she and Padilla have ended their 11-year, real-life relationship. That post’s caption ended with Bernardo saying she is no longer answering questions about the topic.

But days before her MEGA-comeback photo shoot, on a Sunday night, we met Bernardo in a quiet corner of a building, where she walked for one of the biggest local fashion shows in the country. Dressed in a white cropped top, loose black jeans, and boots, she lazily puts aside a green oversized jacket, as she reveals how happy she is these days, and she’s ready to answer questions—well, most questions. She looks really good, too, we say—and visibly fit.

It must be the new habits she has found, she admits, as she raves about the happy hormones she gets from running two to three times a week, playing tennis, getting into Lagree, and working with a new coach, who is teaching her about lifting weights and functional training.

In these past months, she has learned how to keep herself—and her mind—busy, but more than that, she has learned how to compartmentalize.

“When it happened, I still had to honor my professional commitment,” she tells us. Although there are traces of hesitation in her voice, she pulls through it with pauses. The “it” she’s talking about is, of course, the break-up with Padilla. “I mean, you’re a human being. You have to experience all the process, all the pain, lahat. But I always make sure that when it comes to my work, nothing is affected.” And that’s a physically, emotionally, and mentally demanding task. Every month, she explains, her management sends her a calendar, which has all the projects she has to do—and that calendar is almost always full. There wasn’t much time to wallow in sentiments.

“It’s not like I was masking everything I was feeling,” she continues. “But it was very personal, and I didn’t want people to see me as a victim or to feel bad for me because it happened. So, for me, the best way to cope up was, first, I needed to heal and to look at the bright side: I have so many blessings and so many people who stayed with me through all this. I focused on that. Second, I keep myself busy. Walang lull.”

Some days, she admits, were harder than other days, and during those times, she would go home and allow herself to feel. “Hirap,” she pauses, “hirap,” she continues, nodding again and again. “Sometimes, I would ask my manager, ‘May I have a few days just to recharge? Once I go back, I promise, okay na.’ Now, where I am is exactly where I’m supposed to be. February for me is the new January. Parang ’yon ’yong tapos na. I know that I’m okay. I can say I’m healed.”

Naturally, when she started to go out in public again, people would wonder how she was—or is—able to get through it. What advice, they would ask, could she impart? “I don’t know,” and with this, she laughs. “I actually don’t know because, first, I’ve never imagined myself being in this situation, and then, overcoming it. Depende. But distance is my way of protecting my peace.”

And forgiveness? “I don’t know,” she takes a long breath. “Ang lalim kasi ng word na forgiveness. For me, you can forgive people who deserve it. But when I forgive you, it doesn’t mean that I have to keep you in my life. I forgive you for my peace of mind, for clarity, and for everything. But it doesn’t mean na puwede kang bumalik. There is a silent understanding: to give respect for whatever good we had in the past. I think that is where we should be right now. I don’t want to force things if I’m not yet ready. Let’s just leave it that way.”

Months after the break-up announcement, Bernardo is seen on billboards along the busiest part of the EDSA highway, showing her six-pack and a palpably toned physique. Netizens have called it the “revenge body.”

“Thank you,” she says, but she is ditching that notion. Nothing about what she’s doing now is about revenge. “When you say revenge, it’s like you’re proving yourself,” she says, ever so gracefully. “I think na-magnify lang. Ever since naman, I work out, I wear cropped tops, and I wear what I want. I’m a woman now. I know better what I want and what feels good on me, what looks good on me.”