Tanong ito ng isang “white woman” na may karelasyong Pilipino.
An American woman in the Philippines laments that her boyfriend treats her like a maid. She asks on the social media platform Reddit whether Filipino men generally treat their partners as inferior. Do they?
PHOTO/S: Canva
Normal bang maid o katulong ang trato ng mga Filipino men sa kanilang karelasyong babae?
Ito ang tanong ng “white woman” na si @new-freckle sa Reddit nitong Martes, July 15, 2025. Siya ay may relasyon sa isang Pinoy.
Nakasaad sa kanyang published-as-is post: “Hi, white american here with a relationship question. Is it normal for Filipino dudes to treat their female partners like maids?
“I’ve noticed a pattern with my boyfriend’s kuyas and am starting to experience the same.”
Saka idinetalye ng American girlfriend ang sitwasyon niya with her live-in Pinoy boyfriend.
Una, siya ay may trabaho, habang unemployed ang lalaki.
Pangalawa, siya raw ang gumagawa ng lahat ng chores sa bahay at siya pa ang nagbabayad ng renta.
Ang paglalarawan niya sa karelasyon: “He’s so charismatic and usually kind, but sometimes, he just lashes out and completely shuts me out when I’m making every effort to do something helpful.
“I’m so tired and frustrated.
“We’re both young and have had tough upbringings so I thank those of you with the more nuanced advice.
“To be perfectly clear, he had a good job when we met and before we started living together.
“He was unfortunately laid off (not fired) and that seems to have contributed to the issue.”
At hindi raw nakakatulong na madaling panghinaan ng loob ang kanyang Pinoy boyfriend.
Himutok ng American girlfriend, “He expresses interest in helping but seems to get dejected easily. It sucks.”
Sunud-sunod ang mga komento sa post ni @new-freckle.
Karamihan sa kanila ay nagsabing walang kinalaman ang nationality sa attitude ng isang tao.
Heto ang dalawa sa mga reactions (published as is):
“It’s just your BF’s personality, not men’s. We call people like your BF as ‘palamunin.’”
“Regardless of race, that’s not acceptable.”
Agree ang isa pang netizen at sinabing “not normal” ang nararanasan ni @new-freckle.
At sana lang daw ay maging “kind and approachable” ang Pinoy boyfriend para makabawi ito sa pagkukulang niya.
Pero mukhang iniinda na rin ng American girlfriend ang problemang pinansiyal.
Minsan daw ay rumaraket ang kanyang Pinoy boyfriend bilang ride-hailing cab driver, pero ang kinikita ay “nowhere near enough to help with rent.”
Himutok niya, “It’s a shitty situation all-around but the uneven labor split is just… I hate it.”
May nagsabing “big red flag” ang asal ng Pinoy boyfriend, kaya ang dapat daw na gawin ng babae: “Break up with that guy. Kick him out of your home or leave.”
Isang kapwa American woman ang nag-warn na baka ginagamit lang siya ng lalaki.
Aniya: “If he is being supported by you, then you need clear boundaries on what his obligations are to the household, and if he’s not willing to do that, then you’re just getting used.
“And if you see some of his friends with similar behaviors, then it’s a self-reinforcing toxic mess that you’re lining yourself with.
“Don’t lower your expectations to other people’s low efforts.”
Inilarawan din niya ang Pilipinas na “still very much a patriarchal society even though they give a lot of respect to mothers and women.”
Pati raw ang Catholic Church dito sa bansa ay “very much man first, woman second.”
Dagdag niya: “So, while the Philippines is progressive to an extent in women advancing in politics and business, the overtones are very much still conservative and leaning on the man.”
Tugma ito sa isang paper na may titulong “An Overview of the Gender Situation in the Philippines,” na isinulat ng author na si Carlos Antonio Anonuevo noong September 2000.
Nakasaad dito: “The long history of colonialism has embedded a patriarchal culture among Filipinos.
“The conception of women as full-time homemakers, as subordinated to men, violence against them is private, as reserve labor force, and as sexual objects is now being eroded by modern women asserting themselves in many aspects of life.
“But on the other hand, some are either marginalized, discriminated, or even exploited by the harsh realities of global economy and consumerism.”
Pero sa paglipas ng panahon ay mas lumakas na ang role ng kababaihan.
“This puts the gender equality issues at the forefront of national discourse and precludes further downslide of women status in the modern Philippine society.”
At kung may mga kaso pa rin ng inequality sa isang relasyon, ito ay dahil pumapayag ang babae.
Kailangan daw kausapin na ng “white woman” ang lalaki.
Dagdag ng payo ng isang netizen: “You should communicate with him on this.”
Pero para sa Redditor na ito, malinaw ang mga warning signs kaya dapat: “Girl run as fast as you can.”
Susog na isa pa: “Sorry to say but your boyfriend sounds like a loser.”
