Dina Bonnevie reflected on the death of her husband, Agriculture Undersecretary for Livestock Deogracias Victor “DV” Savellano, as she celebrated her first birthday without him. She turned 63 on January 27.

In an Instagram Reel posted on Tuesday, the veteran actress shared moments from her simple birthday celebration with her family, and began her caption by listing down her current roles in life: “A follower of Christ, a loving wife to my husband, a stepmother to five kids, a mother of 2, a grandmother to 9, and now a WIDOW.”

According to Dina, her husband’s death “was not only the most painful experience in my life, but the most traumatic!”

“Watching my husband struggle for dear life and helplessly die in front of me, is one thing I wish no one would ever experience,” she said.

The veteran actress also opened up about wondering “why him and not me.”

“My husband was a good person who lived a Christ-centered life, was generous, was a true and devoted public servant and a visionary who created projects to alleviate the lives of the poor, the aged, the farmers, the fishermen and the artisans,” she said.

Calling DV a proud Ilocano, Dina said he “had so much more to do and contribute to his country and province.”

“The immensity of people who came to his wake and condoled with me, and shared their stories of DV with me, made me realize how many lives he has touched and how much he has achieved in his lifetime. It was far beyond the number of people I have probably touched in my life,” she continued.

Dina admitted she was not looking forward to her birthday as it was her first without DV, and said she “was hurt, felt betrayed, angry, and lost in my misery.”

But her family made her feel loved, she said.

The actress said her stepchildren invited her to a steak dinner on the eve of her birthday “like we usually do, when DV was alive.”

Dina also had lunch with her in-laws with homecooked Filipino food.

“We bonded and shared stories and I didn’t feel alone at all, except, when I had to blow the birthday candle,” Dina said.

She added, “The morning of my birthday, I was crying, hoping to see the usual tulips my husband would wake me up to; but God provided me a wonderful bouquet of orchids from Helen Gamboa, an ex sister-in-law I haven’t seen or spoken to in a long time.”

Dina also had lunch with her sister’s family, and with her son, Oyo Boy Sotto’s family.

“We drove to my son’s house to just spend the day with his family and I thought, DV won’t be singing for me today; but God made me listen to exceptional piano renditions by my grandsons,” she said.

“They were so good that it brought tears to my eyes. I am so blessed and proud of them! I spent the afternoon and evening talking to them, playing with my youngest grandson, hugging him and kissing him and I felt comfort with him in my arms.”

Dina said she continues to grieve over her husband and would cry after getting “triggered by painful memories,” but felt that God was watching over her.

“Then finally my grandchildren gave me letters just when I was about to retire,” she said. “Reading those comforting and assuring letters of love brought not only tears to my eyes, but a realization of how ungrateful I was to question God and focus on my loss and not notice the many little miracles and provisions He provided along the way.”

After everything, Dina said she is now very grateful for all the gestures of love she received on her special day.

“I am reminded of my faith in Him that should remain unwavering, despite life’s challenges,” the actress said.

“I am grateful for having thoughtful sisters-in-law, loving sisters, understanding stepchildren, caring children and loving grandchildren,” Dina added.

“God takes care of widows, he never leaves those who abide in Him. I thank Him for all his blessings and wait on His directions, I let go and let God!”

DV passed away due to abdominal aneurysm early this month.

A public viewing was held at the Aeternitas Chapels & Columbarium – Chapel of Hera in Batasan Hills, Quezon City from January 8 to 11. This was followed by a wake at the Savellano residence in Cabugao, Ilocos Sur from January 12 to 16.

DV was laid to rest at Cabugao Cemetery on January 17.